Exciting!!

Well, it is official! I have lost 20lbs! 

Dealing with this nutritional change has been challenging, but not as difficult as I imagined. 

We are also embarking on anew round of IUI treatments, so more news to come!

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

50 things...

I haven't ever done this before- but I thought that is would be a nice treat to myself in feeling like I am getting into that 'soul searching' mode. I decided while I was moving the trash cans around that I should list somethings that make me happy. I know that 50 things can be daunting and sounds crazy long, but I am hoping that it will teach me to look at things differently (plus 20 sounded like too few). In doing this I began to simply realize that I have so many things in my life that put a smile on my face and/or gives me that quiet deep feeling that comes from the heart felt sort of happy things. Here is my list for today (not in any kind of order).

1. Being in love, and being loved.

2. My husband

3. My sweet baby bug, how thankful I am to have her

4. Her coming up and wanting "big hug"

5. Laughing with my family

6. Little Bug giggles

7. Working on the garden and waiting for the results

8. Watching the birds on our new feeders, and pecking around on the ground

9. Spring time with all the new life around me (which I got to see new calves today)

10. Windows open and feeling the cool breeze flowing through the house with a cleansing spirit about it

11. The glow of candles burning

12. Soft socks cushioning my feet

13. Cuddling up in the blankets (although this will be almost over as warmer weather arrives)

14. Feeling healthier

15. Having the dishes done

16. Eating healthy

17. Having the time and opportunity to sit and play with Little Bug

18. Being able to wear flip flops or let my toes feel the soft grass

19. Soft green grass

20. My camera and video camera

21. Optimism and day dreams

23. Long conversations with my family and them contributing like I am not still a little girl

24. The cool phone my sweet hubby gave me

25. Silence from time to time, and being still

26. Reading a good book

27. Roses in bloom

28. Wildflowers

29. Long walks in the park and stopping to see things around us

30. Learning new signs with Little Bug

31. Ice cold tea!

32. Sleeping in without feeling guilty

33. Getting my chores done for each day (fly lady style)

34. Having a neat bedroom where everything is set (that is not the way it is now, but it sure makes me happy when it is)

35. Finding a great deal

36. Long hot showers (shave legs, wash hair, exfoliate, scrub)

37. Attending a Farmer's Market and finding yummy foods

38. Doing good things for my Mom

40. Being friends with my Mom

41. Seeing fall foliage, it is just amazing that trees can make such beautiful colors all year long

42. Being pregnant really made me happy and feel amazing (I know, weird)

43. Fresh sheets with shaved legs

44. Eating fajitas

45. Camping out and making smores by the fire

46. Magazines, all kinds- just flipping through crisp pages and getting your brain flowing with all ranges of ideas

47. dollarstorecrafts.com, I like shopping at the dollar store for hidden finds

48. Getting my hair chopped off and then styled

49.Getting a pedicure (not many- just a few a year)

50. Going to Homestead Heritage and reminding myself that life can be just as happy when it's a little simpler.

Update on the Life Change...

So I went crashing down food wise! I cannot tell you how hard it is to cut our all those things (wheat, corn and corn products, all grains including rice, milk or any milk product, sugar and fruits). I had also been having a hard time actually eating breakfast! Eating breakfast is very important and I know that it is, but trying to get everyone ready and frankly just getting out of bed is hard. My Dr did give me this great whole food protein shake that I can have with a little almond milk and/or a 1/4c blueberries or blackberries because they have the lowest sugar content in the fruit world. Today was my first try at the shake, and it was good. Wasn't nearly enough though! I can't wait to try it with a sort of take on our green smoothies we had last summer. (Picture is in April of 09) I have found that this mama, Sheri, is a great inspiration for green smoothies that kids will love!

I haven't filled in on my current issue. I was on my period for 32 days!!! I am pretty sure that it is my body's reaction to all this change and is trying to fix itself somehow, but it made me tired, crabby and emotional all the time!! I finally went to the Dr and it started our whole infertility issues up all over again! With this changing of my life and body, I am not ready to start messing with my hormones again. That's a whole different story that can wait for another day :).

We went a couple weeks ago, for Mack Daddy's birthday, to a Chinese buffet- and I splurged way too much! I still did not eat like I would have before all this began, but I had way too many sugars and breads and rice... and that is what started the whole downhill battle!

I think it is much like anything in life, once you cheat once, or change your routine it is just that much easier to keep doing the wrong thing. I have been trying and trying to reset my brain and body in the right direction and I am not having much success. I know there is something there blocking me and I don't know how to go about figuring out what it is. Most of my online bloggy buddies I know would tell me to do some meditation and really dig and soul search. How do you manage that with a toddler and stressed out hubs?

Well for the start, I can get off the addicting computer and out of the black hole of the Internet and go do some yard work. I wonder if it is possible to combine yard work and meditation- I think so :)

For now- embrace the upcoming warmer weather and we say goodbye and thank you to the cold spells :)

The hats are falling...

Another late night post :). There are so many things I have wanted to post about lately, but haven't made time to sqeeze in a post!

A couple years ago, my marriage underwent a separation. We have succeeded in getting over many hurtles, and I know now that we can survive anything. When we got back together and I decided to do my part in becoming 'better', I feel like I dusted off old hats and was trying to figure out how to balance them all at once. I was a terrible housekeeper, didn't keep the yard, wasn't a mother, good but not frequent cook , didn't take care of my body and was a horrible home decorator!  I have in the past two years become better at almost all of those things and have been wearing the tower of hats that most women/moms juggle well every day! I am a MUCH better housekeeper and maid (thanks FlyLady), I mow the yard and have started a garden this year, I have cooked most of our meals for at least a year, became a mother and love it, have been working on healing my body from within and have added more and more decor elements each month :).  I was very satisfied with my accomplishments until recently.

I am not sure if I am just feeling pressure to be even better, or if I am just feeling overwhelmed for some reason, but the hats are crashing!!  I have been trying to do some reflective thinking to see what set my tail spin off, but haven't come up with anything specific.  Why is it so hard to just pick everything up and start again?

Like Mack Daddy quoted: "What's hard aint ever easy" :)

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

From the Pre...

Tonight I am sending a post from my phone, so I am asking in advance to forgive any typos! :)

I was reading a new blog of a local gal that I don't know very well. She is always so sweet and has a wonderfully large family and as I was reading, I wondered- you know those folks who seem to always be genuinly happy? Do you think they really work on it or does it come natural? I don't want to think I'm jealous, but this girl has it all! Beautiful children, a nice house, a loving husband, sincere friends and is always cooking, sewing, crafting or sharing her home for playgroups. She uses every opportunity to teach her children and encourage her friends!  

 I live in a very bible thumper city, and today all this catching up with folks got me wondering. I know some people around here pretend e everything is okay, and it's not. What if for some it really is? And can you be really happy without being a bible thumper?  I don't know the answer, but I would like to think the answer is yes.

I do have to say that reading her few posts has encouraged me to just really look at what it is to be a wife, homemaker and keeper of the house. 

Thank you local gal :)

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Skipped the report last week....

Well, this week has been very rough!! My cycle was 13 days late and has been going on for two weeks!! This heavy expelling of my body parts (lol) has been very tiring and exhausting!! I also spent Monday and Tuesday feeling VERY BAD because I had strep- yay me! My eating habits were okay this week, but my biggest goal was not having a nice cold Dr. Pepper on my sore sore throat!! Pizza and Dr. Pepper are my sicky foods, and I sure did miss them! But with Mack Daddy's support, I was good and didn't cave in!

At the Dr's 'check up' today, my Mercury levels went down another vile, my body was weak from being sick, and my pills went up 10 fold! So all in all, the mercury detox is working, I have lost almost 10 lbs, and I am surviving without much sugar!
This below is what I will consume in pills this week (Friday to Friday)... isn't that lovely?

I do think I am starting to feel healthier, if that is possible to feel while recovering from being sick, and I feel like I have a bit more energy than before. I do see a little change in my face shape because of the little weight I have lost, which I think anytime I loose a little weight it shows in my face first. I am still missing foods and long for them often, but for now I will just keep fighting!

I do hope that this is just the beginning of my life change, but it is VERY hard to give up wheat, corn (including corn syrup and flours), all rice and grains, sugars (cane, brown and fruits) and dairy. I know these exclusions wont last forever, but 12-16 weeks is a long time and I think will change my views on how I eat them in general.

Little Bug is waking up now and so I say to you- Happy Eating!

Out first REAL craft together...

I got this idea somehow after searching this site, but can't find the article anymore! It was really quite easy! I did decide to lightly spray paint the milk carton first, to allow a nicer painting area. Then cut two holes on each side and cut small slits under each hole. I also found a string that was from a plastic bucket with stickers and just added that to the top. To hold each stick in place, I first put a pile of hot glue and the slid the stick in... blew on the glue to make it cool and wha-la! Bird feeder!!
I can't wait until she can look out the door and watch the birdies in her own creation!!